Hello everyone. I know I am fired for not updating the blog in a while. Everything sort of happened in a whirlwind! Mediation did not produce an open adoption. Birth mother showed her true colors during mediation and it did create an accurate picture for many of the third parties regarding her mental illness.
There were hearings the day after mediation and at that time, the judge denied the mother's appeal to have Elli returned. She also ordered a new psychological evaluation, and allowed a deposition of our expert witness (an attachment therapist) at the state's expense. The trial was moved to June 15th, to allow time for the new psychological and additional records to be provided. CASA and guardian ad-litem now seem to be in support of termination after the mediation. We just received the new psychological on birth mom and our case is looking stronger than ever.
Thanks to all for your support! The case can't be moved around any more---June 15th is it! Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers~ We're just trying to roll with it and keep our hearts and minds on the big picture...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Save the date(s)
We've been busy attending various hearings and meetings in Austin. Much thanks to my long time friend Aubrey for providing lodging to a family of 5 on each of our visits. :) We are so thankful for you!
We had a hearing on Friday, April 3rd which went our way. The court did not return Elli b/c there were still concerns with her birth mother's ability to parent. The birth mother is appealing the decision from Friday, April 3rd and in fact is before another judge this afternoon (as I type) to try and get that decision overturned. I'm nervous, but hoping that common sense will prevail. (if they had concerns about her ability to parent a week ago, why would that have changed as of today?) Clearly, the CPS court system does not always operate on a logical basis though. I'm hoping...
This Thursday we are in Austin all day for mediation. We are still hoping to work out an open adoption. Without resolution on Thursday, we will begin our jury trial on Monday.
Our family needs your prayers, hopes, and optimism now more than ever. Thanks to all of you! Hopefully we are nearing the end of this process and Elli will soon be ours FOREVER! :) (The thought of that made me smile)
We had a hearing on Friday, April 3rd which went our way. The court did not return Elli b/c there were still concerns with her birth mother's ability to parent. The birth mother is appealing the decision from Friday, April 3rd and in fact is before another judge this afternoon (as I type) to try and get that decision overturned. I'm nervous, but hoping that common sense will prevail. (if they had concerns about her ability to parent a week ago, why would that have changed as of today?) Clearly, the CPS court system does not always operate on a logical basis though. I'm hoping...
This Thursday we are in Austin all day for mediation. We are still hoping to work out an open adoption. Without resolution on Thursday, we will begin our jury trial on Monday.
Our family needs your prayers, hopes, and optimism now more than ever. Thanks to all of you! Hopefully we are nearing the end of this process and Elli will soon be ours FOREVER! :) (The thought of that made me smile)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Here comes the judge...
Kameron and I are getting ready to travel to Austin early Friday morning for our next court hearing. It's been a stressful few weeks with Elli coming back ill after each 48 hour visit and having significant problems coping with all of the changes happening in her life.
Our family has to travel to Austin every week in the month of April. This week the status hearing... Mom's attorney has filed to have Elli returned to her at the hearing. Fortunately, everyone else seems to think it is too soon, so hopefully the judge will consider everyone's opinion on this and not just birth mom's (and the fact that trial is just 3 1/2 weeks away).
Next week we take our entire family down to Austin for part two of a bonding assessment with our expert witness. She is a psychologist who specializes in bonding and attachment with children who are adopted. She met with Kameron, Elli and I a couple of weeks ago and this time she will be assessing the whole family together.
The following week is mediation (Thursday, April 16th)...where we are hoping to set up an open adoption with some visits periodically. We're hopeful that birth mom would realize this situation would allow her to have an ongoing relationship with all three of her children. Please say your prayers and send good vibes our way. This will be a very important day!
If mediation is unsuccessful, our jury trial will begin on Monday, April 20th and can potentially last up to a week.
We have been so thankful for the family, friends, and co-workers who have donated to the "Save Elli Legal Fund". Our legal expenses with trial less than a month away are now exceeding $30,000 and we appreciate any and all who are able to help. There are not words to express our gratitude for those of you who have given what you can so far, sometimes amazing us with your generosity.
Our family has to travel to Austin every week in the month of April. This week the status hearing... Mom's attorney has filed to have Elli returned to her at the hearing. Fortunately, everyone else seems to think it is too soon, so hopefully the judge will consider everyone's opinion on this and not just birth mom's (and the fact that trial is just 3 1/2 weeks away).
Next week we take our entire family down to Austin for part two of a bonding assessment with our expert witness. She is a psychologist who specializes in bonding and attachment with children who are adopted. She met with Kameron, Elli and I a couple of weeks ago and this time she will be assessing the whole family together.
The following week is mediation (Thursday, April 16th)...where we are hoping to set up an open adoption with some visits periodically. We're hopeful that birth mom would realize this situation would allow her to have an ongoing relationship with all three of her children. Please say your prayers and send good vibes our way. This will be a very important day!
If mediation is unsuccessful, our jury trial will begin on Monday, April 20th and can potentially last up to a week.
We have been so thankful for the family, friends, and co-workers who have donated to the "Save Elli Legal Fund". Our legal expenses with trial less than a month away are now exceeding $30,000 and we appreciate any and all who are able to help. There are not words to express our gratitude for those of you who have given what you can so far, sometimes amazing us with your generosity.
Monday, March 9, 2009
A bad dream...
Elli started 48 hour visits with her birthmother last week. Despite severe mental illness, severe neglect of our older children, and a history of violence (including felony assault)...
CPS and CASA still think Elli should be reunited with her birthmother. Even though the state previously found that she was unfit to parent Breon and Destiney...
We miss her so much that it hurts...they are now picking her up Monday mornings and they don't bring her back to us until Wednesday evenings. That is such a long time to be away from our baby girl. :(
We are proceeding with jury trial on April 20th. We have mediation set for April 16th and hope to be able to work out some kind of visitation plan that the mother will agree to, allowing Elli to stay with us (and her siblings).
More than ever we need your prayers, mediation, and good vibes. There is a permanancy hearing on April 3rd and there is a chance the judge could order reunification at that hearing...this is the worst possible thing for Elli.
If you are able to donate, even a small amount to help us with our legal battle, we would be extremely appreciative. If you are unable to donate...please consider posting a supportive comment or sharing our blog with your friends and family.
CPS and CASA still think Elli should be reunited with her birthmother. Even though the state previously found that she was unfit to parent Breon and Destiney...
We miss her so much that it hurts...they are now picking her up Monday mornings and they don't bring her back to us until Wednesday evenings. That is such a long time to be away from our baby girl. :(
We are proceeding with jury trial on April 20th. We have mediation set for April 16th and hope to be able to work out some kind of visitation plan that the mother will agree to, allowing Elli to stay with us (and her siblings).
More than ever we need your prayers, mediation, and good vibes. There is a permanancy hearing on April 3rd and there is a chance the judge could order reunification at that hearing...this is the worst possible thing for Elli.
If you are able to donate, even a small amount to help us with our legal battle, we would be extremely appreciative. If you are unable to donate...please consider posting a supportive comment or sharing our blog with your friends and family.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Our day in court is coming...
Our jury trial is set for Monday, April 20th!!! I hope this day brings an end to all of our worry and heartache. I hope this day marks the beginning of the rest of our lives as a forever family. All of us!
Elli had an overnight visit last night. So this week we will be watchfully waiting to see how her behavior changes this time. Apparently her caseworker did a surprise drop in visit this morning before picking her up. Elli was withdrawn, seemed confused, and was not talking at all. It breaks my heart to imagine what she must be thinking. So afraid, wondering where she is and if she will get to come back to mommy and daddy.
She is so scared...and I can't explain this to her. Even if I could, I don't quite understand it myself. I hope her caseworker is documenting all of this. Even better, I hope she takes action.
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers~
Elli had an overnight visit last night. So this week we will be watchfully waiting to see how her behavior changes this time. Apparently her caseworker did a surprise drop in visit this morning before picking her up. Elli was withdrawn, seemed confused, and was not talking at all. It breaks my heart to imagine what she must be thinking. So afraid, wondering where she is and if she will get to come back to mommy and daddy.
She is so scared...and I can't explain this to her. Even if I could, I don't quite understand it myself. I hope her caseworker is documenting all of this. Even better, I hope she takes action.
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers~
Friday, February 6, 2009
We should get frequent flyer miles...
We are headed down to another hearing on April 3rd. While Elli is in the custody of CPS we have to meet with a judge every 3 months for a "permanancy hearing". Elli just had her second overnight visit this week. We don't know how it went, but she continues to exhibit unusual behaviors after returning. We are documenting everything as it happens, but our hands are basically tied. I can't possibly explain to you how much we worry about her while she is gone, or how much we miss her...
We just try to look forward to the image of her running down the long ramp in the airport laughing and shouting "DaDa, DaDa!" as she sprints towards Kameron to be reunited after these overnight visits. Honestly, its more like a waddle than a sprint, but you get the picture! When she gets home she seems so excited to see Breon and Destiney, and so surprised that her room is still there, just as she left it. :) It is quite a sight to see!
The tears, frustration, tantrums, and sleepless nights she experiences upon her return home are heartbreaking, and to know we have to put her through this every week is excruciating.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done...
We just try to look forward to the image of her running down the long ramp in the airport laughing and shouting "DaDa, DaDa!" as she sprints towards Kameron to be reunited after these overnight visits. Honestly, its more like a waddle than a sprint, but you get the picture! When she gets home she seems so excited to see Breon and Destiney, and so surprised that her room is still there, just as she left it. :) It is quite a sight to see!
The tears, frustration, tantrums, and sleepless nights she experiences upon her return home are heartbreaking, and to know we have to put her through this every week is excruciating.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Court Date coming soon...
After speaking with our attorney today, it seems that we are headed for a jury trial in late April or early May. Please continue to keep us in your hearts, prayers, and thoughts. CPS continues to feel that Elli should be reunited with her biological mother, although they admit that she will likely return to the "system" in the future. They have assurred me that Elli will return to our family if that happens.
That does not make me feel any better...
I've added a donate button at the bottom of our page. If you feel so inclined, please give what you can to help pay our legal expenses.
Please share our story with anyone you feel might be interested.
That does not make me feel any better...
I've added a donate button at the bottom of our page. If you feel so inclined, please give what you can to help pay our legal expenses.
Please share our story with anyone you feel might be interested.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Elli Belly Jelly Smelly
In May 2007, my husband and I took a long awaited journey to meet our children for the first time. It was only a drive of a few hours, but the trip changed our lives forever. We were becoming parents to a sibling group. Our son, Breon was 5 years old, and his sister, Destiney, was 7 years old. They had been in foster care for three years. Kameron (my spouse) and I were nervous, excited, and ready to begin this new chapter in our lives. We met Breon and Destiney for the first time on the last Friday in May, and drove home with our new family just two days later. The move happened quickly due to less than ideal circumstances in their foster home.
Although adopting an older sibling group was not the easiest path to take towards becoming parents, it has filled our lives with meaning and purpose and a profound love we never thought possible. We feel that we have always been meant to parent these children and we are extremely grateful to have been given this opportunity. We are surrounded with family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors who have enthusiastically supported us on our journey to parenthood.
Kameron and I were able to finalize Breon and Destiney's adoption in December 2007 and felt that our family was complete. As we were settling in our new roles as parents, we had discussed how happy we were that we adopted a sibling group and our level of contentment with our new family. We talked about the idea of adding to our family, and had decided that the only way we would consider it was if there happened to be a sibling. We basically shrugged off the idea because it seemed so far-fetched and carried on with our lives.
In late February 2008, we received a call that we never expected. Breon and Destiney had a six month old baby sister, whom their mother was unable to care for. CPS called us to find out if we were open to the idea of bringing the baby into our family. Kameron and I were shocked, but after a few hours of discussion, we whole-heartedly agreed that welcoming their sister into our home was the right thing to do. We did not want the baby to experience the negative side of foster care that our children had experienced, and we still clung to our fundamental belief that siblings belong together. We drove down for the hearing a couple of weeks later, but were heartbroken to come home empty handed. It seemed that the baby would be staying with her maternal aunt due to circumstances beyond our control.
Less than a month later, we got a call from CPS again much to our surprise. It seemed the maternal aunt no longer wanted to be involved in the case, and we were told that the baby would be coming to our home in a week or so if the judge approved the move. The next morning, CPS called back to ask if the baby could come that evening. Her aunt said she could no longer care for the child and dropped her off at daycare after calling the caseworker. If the baby didn't come to us that night, she would have stayed in an emergency shelter. The caseworker drove her 3 1/2 hours to our home that night, arriving around midnight.
We woke up Breon and Destiney so they could meet their sister for the first time. It was basically love at first sight for Kameron and I. This was the night we fell in love with Elli. Watching Breon and Destiney hold her and give her hugs, re-affirmed our decision. She belonged with her brother and sister, and she deserved to experience life with them. We've definitely had some growing pains, now that we are a family of five, but we wouldn't trade any of this for the world.
Elli has now been part of our family for almost a year. CPS currently feels that it would be best for Elli if she were to be re-united with her birthmother. Obviously our family feels that this is not in her best interest. We have hired a law firm to represent our family and help us keep Elli with her brother and sister. After 8 months of being assured that Elli would be staying with us and that we would be able to adopt her, the sudden change in her permanancy plan was quite a shock and dissapointment. We anticipate going to trial this summer and are working hard to raise the funds needed to maintain rigorous and skilled representation through this legal battle to help us keep our family together.
Thanks to everyone for your support, prayers and good vibes. Our family is so appreciative of so many~
Although adopting an older sibling group was not the easiest path to take towards becoming parents, it has filled our lives with meaning and purpose and a profound love we never thought possible. We feel that we have always been meant to parent these children and we are extremely grateful to have been given this opportunity. We are surrounded with family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors who have enthusiastically supported us on our journey to parenthood.
Kameron and I were able to finalize Breon and Destiney's adoption in December 2007 and felt that our family was complete. As we were settling in our new roles as parents, we had discussed how happy we were that we adopted a sibling group and our level of contentment with our new family. We talked about the idea of adding to our family, and had decided that the only way we would consider it was if there happened to be a sibling. We basically shrugged off the idea because it seemed so far-fetched and carried on with our lives.
In late February 2008, we received a call that we never expected. Breon and Destiney had a six month old baby sister, whom their mother was unable to care for. CPS called us to find out if we were open to the idea of bringing the baby into our family. Kameron and I were shocked, but after a few hours of discussion, we whole-heartedly agreed that welcoming their sister into our home was the right thing to do. We did not want the baby to experience the negative side of foster care that our children had experienced, and we still clung to our fundamental belief that siblings belong together. We drove down for the hearing a couple of weeks later, but were heartbroken to come home empty handed. It seemed that the baby would be staying with her maternal aunt due to circumstances beyond our control.
Less than a month later, we got a call from CPS again much to our surprise. It seemed the maternal aunt no longer wanted to be involved in the case, and we were told that the baby would be coming to our home in a week or so if the judge approved the move. The next morning, CPS called back to ask if the baby could come that evening. Her aunt said she could no longer care for the child and dropped her off at daycare after calling the caseworker. If the baby didn't come to us that night, she would have stayed in an emergency shelter. The caseworker drove her 3 1/2 hours to our home that night, arriving around midnight.
We woke up Breon and Destiney so they could meet their sister for the first time. It was basically love at first sight for Kameron and I. This was the night we fell in love with Elli. Watching Breon and Destiney hold her and give her hugs, re-affirmed our decision. She belonged with her brother and sister, and she deserved to experience life with them. We've definitely had some growing pains, now that we are a family of five, but we wouldn't trade any of this for the world.
Elli has now been part of our family for almost a year. CPS currently feels that it would be best for Elli if she were to be re-united with her birthmother. Obviously our family feels that this is not in her best interest. We have hired a law firm to represent our family and help us keep Elli with her brother and sister. After 8 months of being assured that Elli would be staying with us and that we would be able to adopt her, the sudden change in her permanancy plan was quite a shock and dissapointment. We anticipate going to trial this summer and are working hard to raise the funds needed to maintain rigorous and skilled representation through this legal battle to help us keep our family together.
Thanks to everyone for your support, prayers and good vibes. Our family is so appreciative of so many~
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